Last Friday our baby girl, Adelaide Naomi Behrens, was born. Yay!
She came into the world sunny side up, almost smiling at the midwife. She was so eager to arrive, she even beat the anesthesiologist. Yes, before you ask, Joelle is doing well (although she tells me that back labor is about as fun as getting hit by a truck).
Here’s a picture, because hey–what kind of a dad would I be if I didn’t share pictures of my kids?
Our daughter is beautiful, and through her, God has enriched our family.
I wanted to take this opportunity to once again touch on the subject of families. I believe that families are paramount in God’s intentions for humankind–from Eden to the mission of redemption in the world today.
One could even make the case that the end goal of most of the Old Testament Law is a peaceful meal: a loving, engaging conversation around a dinner table. Entire social systems were set up to ensure that the poor didn’t go hungry or homeless; that foreigners and aliens were effectively assimilated into the fold; that boundaries were set up to ensure justice and peace among neighbors and families. God even commanded that all debts be removed every fifty years to ensure that generational poverty would not exist, and that the disadvantaged would be able to return to their generational homes to work the land and raise their children.
Have a look at how God commanded the Israelites to celebrate all of their national holidays, especially the Passover–with everyone gathered around the table, eating together. Again, at least to me, it seems that much of the law was put in place to ensure an intimate meal at the dinner table.
I’ve written before that families can be funny, tricky things. They’re full of people, after all, and sometimes the people in yours may be quite disagreeable. Your family may support you completely, or they may question your every decision. They may love you, or they may not. Even if the love is there, it can be difficult to find enough common ground to have a conversation with your family. But the illustrations of the Passover, the Year of Jubilee, and even the Lord’s Supper, are there in part to show you that God cares deeply about the way we value family.
I’ve recently been reading a book by Jeff Goins, called The Art of Work. The book is all about finding our calling and following it. In one of the last sections, he quotes a friend, who says that even though he has all of these grandiose ideas for changing the world, ultimately his calling may be to raise his kids well. The fantastic thing about this is that those two things–changing the world and working on good family relationships–are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, they can even be quite complimentary. This is true even if you don’t have kids, or don’t ever intend on having them.
Joelle and I have a missionary friend who recently spent the better part of a year re-building relationship with her family after twelve years abroad. At first she didn’t really know where to start, and for some time they even pursued counseling together. I want to emphasize that this is a perfectly legitimate thing to do. Sometimes we may need to put aside our work in order to make sure that our relationships are right; and there is no relationship more fundamental than family.
I do understand that dysfunction exists. In my extended family we have ministers, police, and a Team USA Paralympic athlete; we also have members who struggle with addiction and homelessness, have had trouble with the law, and live with a lot of regrets. Some have been on both ends of the spectrum and have a deep understanding of grace. Some others are still writing that part of their story. We’re broken people, and reconciliation may be easier said than done. But as citizens of the Kingdom, we’re left without the option of giving up on it.
Think of the impact it has on the world when entire families take up the call together. Jesus included at least two sets of brothers in His group of disciples. Priscilla and Aquila worked together, presumably with any children they may have had. Paul specifically praises not only Timothy’s faith, but that of his mother and grandmother as well.
Strong, healthy families make strong, healthy societies. It’s interesting how the loss of a consistent moral code in the West has paralleled the devaluation of the family. But if we as believers, and particularly as missionaries, work to restore the family–to turn the hearts of the fathers back to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers–then we can begin to see the restoration of God’s greater purposes for our societies as well.
And that purpose may just be an engaging conversation around the kitchen table.
Life After Missions 